Ich bedanke mich fuer dein Intersse. Bitte seht es mir nach, dass die meisten Werke in Englisch gehalten sind. War einfacher fuer mich..
Als ich diese Texte verfasst habe, war ich sehr aufgwuehlt und verletzt. Meine Welt brach in sich zusammen...
geschrieben von: trigger
the black roamer
Once upon a time in a "kingdom" far far away. A sottish guy wanders around. He always looked a wee bit depressed and only the migthy gods know, whats underneath his cold surface or even his trenchcoat.
Some rumours say, he's a strange person...he's figthing a cruel war angainst himself, he's on a warfare angainst his committed sins and his own fate. Some people tried to understand him, they suppose his running away from himself..no one knows it exaclty...
Altough he had a few close friends and a job, he often felt alone and dull...But once his life made a sudden change...
He just sat in his favorite pub, enjoying a drink and suddely she appeared..It was love at.first sight. He's heart grew fonder, but it was a useless emotion, once again and he know, he would be defeated..
But in his boozed foolishness, he forged a pact with the devil himself, his soul, for his success in love, an unfair deal...
He won't give up her, no matter the cost. So he is fighting a perpetual battle angainst his stubbornness and his own illusions nevertheless his feelings...
But maybe, it is not as cold in hell than in his own oppressed soul and he will still fleeing from himself..living a soulless entitiy, meandering around, without a destination and no turning back...
No one knows what happend to him, or even, in which godless countries his quest led him..but people still remember him, and his battle within is raging on and on...
19.11.2007, veroeffentlicht am 22.11.2007
geschrieben von: trigger
routing my synapses...once again...
not even purgatory hath more fury than a broken heart..
soacking everything in whisky turns the situation even worse...
but it reduces the grief thee hath to bear
and the pain keeps you focused on what's really important...
thy will be done, my kingdom of fire comes...
My quest is done, my search complete
but in the end I walk my path alone
to find myself again
to get rid of this familiar anguish
..but..
Am I really alone?
19.11.2007, veroeffentlicht am 22.11.2007
geschrieben von: trigger
oceans of sadness and hate
And once more, the burden called life, betrayed me…
After all this tiring years, after all this good deeds and all the sins…
Why? What have I done? I can’t bear the punishment or however the fate calls this…
It started when I was young, enjoying a sheltered upbringing, living in my own safe… world, but the happiness wasn’t there to last…
Living in a brave new world, no worries, no emotions, no scars from the past to read..
Wander around as a lonly wolf, raising my wounds in everyday's business?
Who knows.. lonly and "happy" or in good company without a soul to keep??
Why is the life a deep ocean of sadness and hate? I can’t feel anymore, why? Why do I have to live a soulless entity?
Now I remain as a lonely sailor in the stormy waters of life… No where to go, no where to hide, no safe haven and no lighthouse to lead my way…
And no feeling heart as compass…
What have I become?
Poseidon, god of the sea, have mercy for this forsaken mariner…
To be continued….
20.11.2007, veroeffentlicht 22.11.2007
geschrieben von: trigger
circle of life and suffering
The circle of life, the trinity of human being
…Birth, life and death…
Another day, another fight..
But still I’m filled with sorrow...
My bleak inner self touched by a cold blaze of despair…
Holding myself back in suspicion…
Hiding in a fog of illusions...
The vapour of my abandoned remains…
A lost place, my fortress of sarcasm and hate
The almighty revelation
everything collapses
the prophecy is fulfilled
My heart beats faster,
The anguish becomes clearer
And my misanthropic view gets stronger.
The steaming blood pours out of my tortured soul…
Living in my own shadow, so proud for being the one
But desperate so desperate I need a helping hand…
Do I really want to live this life?
My blazing spirit, remains as gathering of open wounds…
Steaming blood pours out of me…
Why do I have to bear these pains…
Lying in my own pool of blood, sweat and tears..
I start to grasp the 1000 reasons for this
the human pain, has emptied my mind
and revealed the curse I’m captured in…
I am truly left alone
but somehow... just somehow
it feels like my loneliness is a victory
over the self-destructive behaviour of joy
